Ava {18 months}!

Ava turned 18 months old on March 29th.
I can't believe I officially have a 1 and 1/2 year old!
To celebrate, we took Ava to ride the steam train at Tilden Park.
She loved it!

Here are some things I want to remember from this age:

Words she knows as of today (RED ones are new words this month):

walk, eyes, hot, yeah, play (pay), swing (wee), cup, buckle up (buka uh), bubble gum (bubba guh), apple juice, happy birthday (appie day), cupcake, goodnight (nye nye), oh cute (ohhh toote), moon, bow, ouch, cookie, all done, water, happy, moo, baa, thank you, truck, duck/quack (same thing right now) car, balloon (boon), cake, please (meese), flower (wow-wah), belly (buh-bee), clicker, cup, oh no, ball, bubble, up, apple, cool, Elmo, baby, no, grandpa (says poppy), grandma (says mama), ow/owie, milk (mee), paci (she actually calls it mammy), cracker, shoes, dada, mama, hi, bye, more, uh oh, wow, cheese, book

These are the words she can sign: 

nap, milk, drink, mama, daddy, up, ball, banana, cracker, fish, bath, tree, ball, potty, more, grandpa, cat, baby, all done, eat, cookie, juice, one, bird

New/Funny things she does:

• Likes to tuck her babies in at night (bear, dog and baby doll). She puts the blanket over them, kisses them and says "Nye nye."
• Before dinner, without us asking or prompting her she will fold her arms so we can say a prayer. She doesn't keep her arms folded for very long during the prayer, but once we say "Amen," she folds them back up again. :)
• If she is asking for something and then we repeat it back to make sure that's what she wants, she says "Yeah!" 
• Says "Ohhh toote" (oh cute) when she thinks something is "cute" (after she gets dressed and looks in the mirror, when she puts a bracelete on, etc). 
• Is starting to understand the concept of the alphabet. When she sees letters, she excitedly says "A B Doo!" (her way of saying ABC). She starts singing the alphabet song the same way "A,B,Doo" and she LOVES to read her ABC books. She also knows that A says "ah" and B says "buh."
• She knows where her eyes, ears, nose, teeth, hair, cheeks, hands, fingers, fingernails, belly, toes, and bum are. 
• When she wants some juice, she will walk to the refrigerator, open the door, choose whichever juice she wants and bring it to me. Once I am done pouring it in her sippy cup, she will return the juice to the fridge exactly where she got it and close the door. (And of course once she gets her juice she happily says, "Tay too!"
• She now takes one nap around 1pm for 3-4 hours. 
• She wears size 24months or 2T and size 6 shoes.
• She also knows which drawer in the kitchen her toddler forks and spoons are. If she is eating lunch and I didn't give a fork or spoon, she will walk to the kitchen, open the drawer, reach up for and grab a fork (she can't see in the drawer, it's too high), close the drawer and then come back to her table to eat.
• If you ask "Ava, how old are you?", she will hold up one finger.
• She loves to mimic sounds - whistling, the vacuum, the garbage truck, etc.
• She is really good at navigating the iPad and my iPhone. She can unlock it, swipe to the page where the "Ava" folder is, and open whichever app she wants. She even uses the Home button to navigate between apps. Crazy!
• She LOVES to play outside and will run to grab her shoes, my shoes, her jacket and then beg to play outside on the "wee" (swing). I am so grateful we moved to a house with a big backyard because I can just open the back door and she plays and plays and plays. 

Love my little girl so much!

Best 18 months of my life so far! :)

Happy Easter! (and Ava's first day in nursery!)

Happy Easter!
Grandma Webster bought Ava her beautiful Easter dress and the most adorable shoes and bow to match. 

Ava, Gavin and Bryson woke up to Easter baskets full of yummies and fun surprises.

It was also our first Sunday taking Gavin to church.

We dressed him in his Sunday best and he slept the entire time we were at church. :)

AND to top it off, it was Ava's first official Sunday in nursery! 

She ran right in the room and didn't look back once. 

The report was that she was good - I hope that is true! :)

I know she loved it!

She came home with a little bag of Easter goodies and a cutout of Jesus and the tomb - 

which she had tastefully decorated with her crayons, of course. :)

Yay for nursery!

We all came home, fed the kiddos and are off to take Sunday naps! :)

Happy Easter everyone!

Gavin is {3 weeks}

I spent a lot of time worrying during my pregnancy.

Worrying about the health of my unborn child. 

Worrying about my ability to care for two children. 

Worrying about my capacity to love another child as much as I love Ava. 

If there's anything I've learned in the past three weeks, it's that every new little life is a blessing. 

And as my family grows, my ability to love expands exponentially. 

My love for my daughter doubled overnight -- something I didn't think possible. 

And my love for my little boy, my Gavin, is greater, sweeter and deeper than I ever could have imagined. 

Gavin truly a wonderful baby. 

I can't believe he has been in our family for 3 weeks already. 

Part of me feels like it's been longer and part of me can't even believe he's here. 

I adore him.

 I am incredibly blessed to be his mom.

Here are some things that I want to remember from his "newborn" stage:

• He is a great eater, good sleeper and he honestly hardly ever cries. 
• At 2 weeks, Gavin hit his first big growth spurt and was eating every 1.5 hours for a couple days. 
• Now he is back to eating every 3 hours, day and night, like clockwork. 
• After he eats, he is awake for a very short while and then he falls asleep until he is hungry again. He will kind of start fussing, so I will wrap him up and lay him down in his bouncer chair and he will fall asleep on his own. He loves to be swaddled.
• When he does get hungry, he just kind of fusses and grunts - no crying unless I am busy with Ava or we are driving home and can't get to him for a little while. Even then, he doesn't really cry too loudly or for very long.
• When he wakes up at night to eat, I have to work hard to keep him awake long enough to keep eating - he's just so sleepy. After he's done, he goes right back to sleep. He wakes up every 3 hours at night (Ava was sleeping 6+ hours at night by this time).
• Gavin hated his first couple baths, but has now learned to love them. Grandma Lisa gave him his first several baths.
• He likes his pacifier, but not as much as Ava did. He doesn't ever sleep with it in his mouth. 
• He hardly ever spits up - maybe once every couple days.
• He LOVES his car seat (something his big sister hated from day one). He falls asleep the instant we put him in the car seat and stays asleep until we take him back out.
• He smiles a lot in his sleep and he makes the funniest "ugly-cute" faces when he is trying to get comfortable.
• He is pretty good at holding his head up when we hold him up on our shoulder.

At his 2 week check-up, he weighed 8 lb 4.4 oz (43.98%) and was 1' 10.25" or 22.25" tall (98.73%).
(Crazy to think at 2 weeks, he was still smaller than Ava was when she was born).

Tall and skinny. Apparently I make tall babies.

****

Ava absolutely loves him. 
She proudly introduces him to random strangers in the grocery store or Target. 
"Baby," she will smile and say as she points to him in his car seat. 
When Gavin cries, Ava will try very hard to comfort him - 
she holds his hand, rubs his little head and laughs right in his face to try to cheer him up. 
She likes to help burp him, put his pacifier in his mouth and she always throws his dirty diapers in the trash can for us. 

She does get jealous at times - especially when it comes to sharing me. 
If I am feeding him and she wants to sit on my lap, she will try to pull him off my lap as she says, "No, no, no." 
But for the most part, she waits until I am done and then climbs onto my lap wanting the same treatment Gavin just got 
(meaning, she will go get the same pillow, blanket, etc and cozy up with me). 

She loves to kiss the back of his head and she loves to put her head right next to his when he is laying on a blanket. 
Unfortunately she also likes to try to hold him (and then almost drop him)
- something I try to distract her from several times a day haha.

I love my sweet girl and my sweet boy. 

I am so excited to watch them grow up together.

And with that, I am off to kiss my babies.

Gavin's Newborn Pictures

I did a Living Social deal and had newborn pictures of Gavin taken when he was 4 days old. 

Here are some of our favorites:
(and I feel so mad at myself for not fixing my horrible, chipping-off fingernail polish! Please ignore that!)

Gavin's {very long} Birth Story

Gavin came into this world on March 6, 2013 at 1:54am...5 days early - such a difference from his sister who made us wait 10 days pasr her due date. He is the absolute perfect baby, truly spoiling his mom already. I love him even more than I could imagine...and I loved him instantly. He not only fits perfectly into our little family, he belongs with us...he is meant to be with us in every way.

Gavin's Birth from Ashley Webster on Vimeo.

Here is the story of the day he decided to join our family:

On March 5th I had a doctor's appointment at 3:10pm for my 39 week check-up. Up to this point, I had always found a friend to watch Ava, but this time I had asked Bryson to work from home so he could stay home with her. For some reason, I had this feeling before leaving for my appointment that I needed to get everything "ready to go" - just in case. Bryson told me later that he had the same kind of feeling - that it wasn't going to be just a "normal" appointment. I arrived at my appointment and the medical assistant did all the usual "pre-appointment" things: weighed me, took my blood pressure, etc. My blood pressure was high - higher than it's ever been. She took me back to my room and when my doctor came in, he listened to the baby's heartbeat, measured my belly and checked my cervix. He seemed excited when he told me, "Wow, you are a little more than a 2 and your cervix is very low and thin." Now, if you know Ava's birth story you would know that even at 41 weeks pregnant, I never even dilated to a 1. So hearing I was even at a 2 was good news...not great news, but good - especially considering I still had a week to go. Then he said, "I think you will go into labor any day now." I kind of, a little bit rolled my eyes and thought, "Uh huh, sure," mostly just not wanting to get my hopes up. :) Then he brought up my blood pressure. He told me he wasn't too worried about my blood pressure - it wasn't high enough to be too dangerous. But still, it was higher than it should be. He told me he could induce me now, but because he thought I would go into labor so soon, he wanted to give me a chance for labor to start naturally. So he sent me over to get a Non-stress Test where they would monitor my BP and the baby's heart rate for a while. He then told me to schedule an appointment with him for Friday just to be safe, but added at the end, "But I highly doubt you'll still be pregnant by Friday." Well 45 minutes later, NST showed that my BP was still high. So the perinatologist told me that he was going to send me up to L&D and that if my BP was still high (which was very likely), they would admit me, give me a little bit of pitocin to "nudge" me in labor (since I was already close) and I would have my baby in 4 or 5 hours. I'm pretty sure my mouth was gaping open when I asked, "Wait, so what are you saying exactly?" He responded, "I'm not saying it's definite, but it's highly likely you will have your baby tonight. You should head up to Labor and Delivery right now." This news came as a complete shock to me. I was excited, nervous, surprised...all at the same time. I even got a little sad, thinking that although I was excited for our boy to arrive, I needed to first go home and hug and kiss my little Ava one last time before she became a big sister. It felt like a blessing when the doctor called up to L&D to tell him I was on my way only to find that they were incredibly busy and to have me come later tonight, at 8:00pm. "Go home, get something to eat and come back at 8pm and be ready to have this baby," the doctor instructed me. "Oh, and good luck!" he said through a smile. On my way to the car, I called Bryson, still kind of in denial, and told him the game plan. "This will probably end up being a false alarm, you know," I was convinced nothing would come of it, mostly to protect myself from getting my hopes up.

I honestly didn't feel like I even had time to process what was about to happen - instead I was consumed with thoughts of Ava: who would watch her, would she feel like I was abandoning her, how do I make sure she knows I love her, how do I make the most of my last moments with her as my only child? I remember walking into the house and seeing Ava playing outside; she was sitting on the ground digging, absolutely covered in dirt, but as beautiful as ever. I stood by the window and watched her play as tears streamed down my cheeks. Bryson comforted me and asked what was wrong. "These are my last moments with her as my only child. From here on out, I have to divide my time. I won't have as much time with just her anymore. I don't want her to feel like I am abandoning her." Bryson hugged me and responded, "I guess I never thought about it like that." Just then, Ava looked up and saw me standing in the window. She shouted, "Mama!" and ran in a sprint with a huge smile towards me. My sweet, sweet girl...I knew she would be an incredible big sister and that even with the huge, life-changing transition of having to share her "Mama" with a sibling, she would only become a better and happier person. After all, there is no greater blessing in life than a sibling - a friend for life.

Just the day prior I had packed my hospital bag and a "just in case" overnight bag for Ava (never thinking in a million years we would have to use it - because I "knew" this baby wasn't coming early!) and installed the infant car seat in the back of our Jetta. I made sure we had everything, Bryson put our bags in the trunk, we buckled Ava into her car seat and off we went. We stopped at California Pizza Kitchen for a quick dinner and then we dropped Ava off at a friend's house (who very generously watched her last minute) and headed to the hospital.

At 8:00pm, we checked into Labor and Delivery, I put on a gown and I was hooked up to a BP monitor in triage. They took about two or three readings, all of which were high, and then sent in a lady with a clipboard and admission papers to sign. At this point, I realized it was real. I was about to have a baby. So, Bryson and I walked the hall to room 8, in as two...out as three.

After getting all settled into our room and meeting the doctor on call, the nurse started the Pitocin (around 10 or 11pm - I lost track of time at this point). I could see my contractions on the monitor...I could definitely feel them and they were uncomfortable, but nothing overly painful. A couple hours later, after watching several old episodes of the Office, I started feeling painful contractions. After two deliveries, I have learned about myself that I am a "silent sufferer" - meaning even when it hurts a lot, you won't hear a peep out of me. No moaning or groaning or screaming in pain. I kind of just "retreat" into myself. I woke up Bryson, who was sleeping soundly on the couch :), and said, "I think I might want to get an epidural now." Bryson and I were both afraid that what happened last time would happen again - that I would dilate so quickly that I wouldn't have time to get an epidural (with Ava, I BARELY had enough time and got an epidural when I was 10cm dilated). Bryson called the nurse and when she came in, she told me, "You seem just fine, I don't think you are ready for an epidural yet." Um, excuse me? Bryson told her, "Why don't you just get the doctor and have him check her, just to make sure." Anyway, the doctor found that I was at 5cm and told me now was a great time to get an epidural. So in comes the anesthesiologist...who starts giving me the epidural. In the meantime, I am trying my absolute hardest to sit still, all while knowing in my head things were progressing very quickly because the pain was getting much, much worse. About 20 minutes after the doctor had checked me saying I was 5cm and before the anesthesiologist had finished giving me the epidural, I felt that "urge to push." I told the nurse through clenched teeth and she immediately ordered the anesthesiologist to stop and that it was time for me to push this baby out. "Is the epidural done?" I asked her. "No, and even if it was, it wouldn't work in time...you're having this baby now." She called the midwife in, they broke down the bed and it was then that I realized I was about to have this baby without an epidural, without any pain medication at all. I'm pretty sure I said out loud, "This is literally my worst nightmare," and the nurses and midwife laughed a little and said "You can do this! The quickest way to get rid of the pain you are feeling is to get this baby out!" And that's what I kept telling myself...I CAN DO THIS. And I did!

For nine months, my sweet little son grew inside me, became a part of me, gave me constant reassurance he was there. In just 20 minutes of pushing, we met face to face for the first time. And just like with Ava, I fell instantly in love with the tiny person I'd never seen before. My sweet baby Gavin was finally in my arms. All 7 pounds 12 ounces and 21 inches of him. And he showed me a little glimpse of heaven.

He was (and is) absolutely perfect. Any doubts or worries of how I could possibly love another child as much as I love Ava were instantly gone - the second I saw my wrinkly little son, held his tiny little hands in mine, kissed his soft little cheeks...I knew I was deeply in love. I love his dark brown hair, his long finger-like toes, his skinny legs. I love the way he sucks in his bottom lip, the way he smiles in his sleep and his little squeaky grunts he makes when he is trying to get comfortable. He has been much sleepier than Ava ever was - barely ever opened his eyes for the first several days. He eats like a champ, hates being naked (including diaper changes and baths) and loves to be swaddled. He is my perfect, sweet little son.

Having Gavin "naturally," without an epidural was definitely an experience that I can say now (looking back) I am glad to have experienced. It was easier than my delivery with Ava in many ways. Did it hurt? Um, yes...of course haha. No way around that. BUT I felt much more present this time and the second Gavin was out and laying on my chest, all the pain I had been feeling went away. (Hard to explain without going into more detail than I would like on a blog haha.) Recovery has been much easier as well. Would I choose to have my next baby naturally? Probably not haha - but I will say that it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be - certainly not my "worst nightmare." The worst part was the contractions I felt as I was dilating from 5cm to 10cm in 20 minutes...then pushing was almost like relief because my body was doing what it was supposed to be doing. And rather than the nurse saying "Okay, you're having a contraction now...push!" I was the one saying, "Okay, I'm having a contraction now," and then my body helped me push. It's amazing (and crazy!) what our bodies can do! And I'm not going to lie - there is a little bit of an empowerment that I felt knowing I did something that I had been so scared to do. The nurse told me after it was over, "Next time you have a baby, you need to make sure you get to the hospital very early or else you'll have your baby in the car!" since apparently once my babies decide to come, they come fast!

One of the most tender moments of my life was watching Ava as a new big sister meeting her baby brother for the first time. Just as I had dreamed it 9 months prior, she walked into our hospital room wearing a "Big Sister" shirt and pointed to Gavin as she said "beebee." It's not even possible for me to express how much I love these two babies (I can call them both babies because, let's be honest, Ava is still very much a baby haha). I adore them. I feel blessed beyond words to be their momma, and I feel completely inadequate because these two deserve the absolute best of the best.

Welcome to the world and welcome to our family, sweet boy. 

We are so happy to have you. 

Introducing...

Gavin Bryson Webster

Born March 6, 2013 at 1:54am

7lbs 12oz, 21 inches long
We could not be more in love!

Welcome to the world little one!